Yet another instance of not being able to enable dev mode

Brand new device. Verified developer account with cc. But when we go in to enable dev mode on the app, there is no option to enable dev mode at all. Nothing is showing up. I've tried reinstalling the app, resetting the device, re-verifying...all the things. Nothing seems to work. Judging by the number of others logging this, this appears to be an ongoing issue but it'd be great to be able to get it sorted because I can't do anything on the dev side until it's enabled!