of course i followed all the instructions for sideloading apps via sidequest. while trying out different things (like restarting pc and turning different divices on in a different order) i saw the window on the quest for a split second but it changed almost instantly into the window that asks if you want to enable oculus link and it never showed again.
i also tried listing the devices in the console with this command
C:\Users\Username>adb devices
but it told me the command doesnt exist or is wrong.
i tried using sidequest to run thta command but that just did nothing
then i found a video on yt suggesting to use an ADB Driver installer which i did. but the installer told me that i had the driver already installed.