I just fixed it by manually sideloading the newest update on the quest.
If you have the technical know-how you can try it described on this
blog:
https://shkspr.mobi/blog/2022/09/meta-quest-2-refurb-exchange-experience-how-to-fix-unable-to-connect-to...
Facing the exact same issue. Got a replacement headset, obviously
controllers don't connect without the app but when trying to pair the
headset, it gives an error. Messaged support and basically got "yeah lol
we know it's not working bye". Absolutely...