"Headset settings" are disabled and can't enable developer mode

My Quest 3 headset.. in the oculus app on my phone, "Headset settings" is greyed out
and I can't put the device into developer mode. Note it used to work. I can't connect this headset to adb or MQDH anymore either.
The settings on the quest itself show developer mode 'enabled', but apparently it's not.

I'm at this form from this post (same issue) https://communityforums.atmeta.com/t5/Get-Help/Headset-settings-greyed-out-mobile-app/td-p/1070584

How can I fix this?  Thanks