Object Grab how to changing the Grab location?

whats the secret do i just create an empty game object and attach it to the object? or do i change the origin point in maya? how do i change the origin/grab point of an object in unity

and how do i change the contact point/grab point of the hands for the oculus touch controllers 
like if i want to pick up an object thats super small by pinching it with two fingers and i want it to make contact at the thumb and pointer finger

dont want to get to far ahead of myself either but how do you make the hands not go through object but just act more like solid hands on an object and mold with the object? i'll probably make another post for this