MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING FORUM
Sketch: "The Department of Misplaced Complaints"
Setting: A Meta Community forum dedicated to VR headsets and AI glasses. A harassed moderator sits behind a desk labelled: VR & AI GLASSES DISCUSSION
A man bursts through the door carrying seventeen binders and a dead parrot.
MAN: I wish to complain.
MODERATOR: Very good. Is your headset overheating?
MAN: No.
MODERATOR: Display artefacts?
MAN: No.
MODERATOR: Hand tracking?
MAN: No.
MODERATOR: AI glasses refusing to identify a shrub?
MAN: No.
MODERATOR: Then why are you here?
MAN: My Facebook account was disabled.
MODERATOR: Ah. This is the VR and AI glasses forum.
MAN: Yes.
MODERATOR: So why are you posting about Facebook?
MAN: Because my Facebook account was disabled.
MODERATOR: Right, but this forum concerns VR and AI glasses.
MAN: Exactly.
MODERATOR: I don't follow.
MAN: My Facebook account was disabled.
MODERATOR: Yes, you've said that.
MAN: Therefore I posted it in the AI glasses forum.
MODERATOR: There's absolutely no connection whatsoever.
MAN: Well, I was wearing spectacles when it happened.
A second man runs in.
SECOND MAN: HELP! My Instagram account was disabled!
MODERATOR: This is still the VR forum.
SECOND MAN: I know.
MODERATOR: Do you own a headset?
SECOND MAN: No.
MODERATOR: Any AI glasses?
SECOND MAN: No.
MODERATOR: Then why are you here?
SECOND MAN: I typed "Meta" into Google and clicked the first thing that moved.
MODERATOR: Understandable, carry on.
A woman enters pushing a wheelbarrow full of printed screenshots.
WOMAN: URGENT! My WhatsApp account was banned!
MODERATOR: This forum is for virtual reality hardware.
WOMAN: Yes, but WhatsApp is owned by Meta.
MODERATOR: And?
WOMAN: Your sign says Meta.
MODERATOR: So if your toaster was made by Samsung, would you seek assistance in a discussion about refrigerators?
WOMAN: Certainly.
MODERATOR: Ah.
WOMAN: Also my Threads account was suspended.
MODERATOR: Naturally.
A siren sounds. The room fills with frantic people.
CROWD (chanting): Disabled Facebook! Disabled Instagram! Disabled Business Account! Disabled Ad Account! Disabled Page! Disabled Cat! Disabled Auntie!
MODERATOR: Stop, stop! One at a time!
FIRST PERSON: My ad account!
SECOND PERSON: My business account!
THIRD PERSON: My business account's ad account's page account's account account!
MODERATOR: Does anyone have a question about VR?
Silence.
MODERATOR: AI glasses?
Silence.
MODERATOR: Mixed reality?
A cricket chirps.
Suddenly a distinguished COLONEL enters.
COLONEL: Right! This sketch has become far too repetitive.
MODERATOR: Thank God.
COLONEL: Carry on.
He leaves.
A giant filing cabinet falls from the ceiling labelled:
"OFFICIAL ACCOUNT SUPPORT REQUESTS"
CROWD: Huzzah!
They attempt to open it.
MODERATOR: That's just a cardboard prop.
CROWD: We'll post another thread!
MAN: I've already made 47 threads.
MODERATOR: In the VR forum?
MAN: Naturally.
MODERATOR: Why?
MAN: The first 46 didn't work.
MODERATOR: So your solution was to create another one?
MAN: That's called escalation.
A professor appears at a lectern.
PROFESSOR: According to advanced forum science, if one posts "MY FACEBOOK WAS DISABLED" in enough unrelated subforums, eventually consciousness itself will disable.
An enormous ROBOT labelled "AUTOMATED FORUM BOT DETECTOR" rolls in.
ROBOT: ANALYSING POSTS.
MODERATOR: Finally!
ROBOT: DETECTED 7,421 IDENTICAL THREADS.
MODERATOR: Excellent! Remove them.
ROBOT: CANNOT.
MODERATOR: Why?
ROBOT: I AM BUSY READING A THREAD ABOUT A MAN WHOSE INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT WAS DISABLED.
MODERATOR: In the VR forum?
ROBOT: OF COURSE.
A trumpet fanfare.
ANNOUNCER: And now, the World Championship of Posting Completely Unrelated Problems in VR Forums!
CONTESTANT #1: My Facebook was disabled!
CONTESTANT #2: My Instagram was disabled!
CONTESTANT #3: My ad account was disabled!
CONTESTANT #4: My goldfish can no longer access Marketplace!
JUDGES: Splendid! Ten points!
The moderator finally snaps.
MODERATOR: Listen carefully! This is a VR and AI glasses community! We discuss headsets, optics, firmware, tracking, displays, passthrough, lenses, batteries and software!
CROWD: So... you can restore my disabled Facebook?
MODERATOR: NO!
CROWD: Ah.
Pause.
CROWD: What about Instagram?
MODERATOR: NO!
CROWD: Business Manager?
MODERATOR: NO!
CROWD: Threads?
MODERATOR: NO!
CROWD: WhatsApp?
MODERATOR: NO!
CROWD: My cousin Nigel?
MODERATOR: Possibly. What's wrong with him?
A massive animated foot descends from the sky and squashes everyone.
NARRATOR: And so the Meta Community VR forum was preserved for nearly three minutes before being overrun by another 600 posts entitled:
"PLEASE HELP FACEBOOK DISABLED URGENT THANKS"
Cue absurdly cheerful music. Fade to black.