Skip to main content
RuneSR2
Honored Contributor
March 19, 2019
Question

The Joke Thread

  • March 19, 2019
  • 166 replies
  • 39872 views

I'll be happy to start  o:)

After 20 years of marriage, a wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday.
She figures there's no harm in it if she's there with him, after all.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a glass of red wine.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink that?"
"She's in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real witch tonight, Dave."

    166 replies

    Participant
    October 6, 2019

    RuneSR2
    RuneSR2Author
    Honored Contributor
    October 8, 2019
    Just got this one:

    Stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, he saw something on the horizon…

    He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibility of a small boat or a raft.

    Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!

    She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?" "Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman.

    With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter.

    He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the castaway... "Ahh, that is so good! I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

    "And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."

    Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him.

    He opened the flask and took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the gods!" shouted the Irishman. " 'Tis truly fantastic!!!"

    At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"

    With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!"
    Oculus Rift CV1, Valve Index & PSVR2, Asus Strix OC RTXâ„¢ 3090, i9-10900K (5.3Ghz), 32GB 3200MHz, 16TB SSD "Ask not what VR can do for you, but what you can do for VR"
    Inspiring
    October 15, 2019
    RuneSR2
    RuneSR2Author
    Honored Contributor
    November 7, 2019
    The KGB Way 



    Oculus Rift CV1, Valve Index & PSVR2, Asus Strix OC RTXâ„¢ 3090, i9-10900K (5.3Ghz), 32GB 3200MHz, 16TB SSD "Ask not what VR can do for you, but what you can do for VR"
    November 8, 2019
    I went to a Faith Healer yesterday and he was rubbish. Even the bloke in the wheelchair got up and walked out. B)
    November 8, 2019


     :D :D :D
    November 8, 2019

    A man farts in bed and says, "1-0".
    The woman farts in bed and says, "1-1"
    The man farts again and says, "2-1".
    The woman farts again and says, "2 all"
    The man strains, farts, follows through and poops the bed.
    The woman says, "What the heck was that?!!?".
    The man says, "Half time. Swap sides."

     ðŸ˜„ 😄 😄

    RuneSR2
    RuneSR2Author
    Honored Contributor
    November 9, 2019

    Oculus Rift CV1, Valve Index & PSVR2, Asus Strix OC RTXâ„¢ 3090, i9-10900K (5.3Ghz), 32GB 3200MHz, 16TB SSD "Ask not what VR can do for you, but what you can do for VR"
    RuneSR2
    RuneSR2Author
    Honored Contributor
    November 9, 2019
    Image result for yoga jagermeister meme
    Oculus Rift CV1, Valve Index & PSVR2, Asus Strix OC RTXâ„¢ 3090, i9-10900K (5.3Ghz), 32GB 3200MHz, 16TB SSD "Ask not what VR can do for you, but what you can do for VR"
    Honored Contributor
    November 9, 2019

    A PC with lots of gadgets inside and a thing to see in 3D that you put on your head.