Can’t access navigator

Oh, ok thanks will it fully roll out on ptc eventually?

🏰 THE MINISTRY OF NAVIGATION

Scene: A dusty government office labelled "MINISTRY OF NAVIGATION – Abandon Hope All Ye Who Boot."

MR. PRALINE enters, holding a Meta Quest headset like it's a dead parrot.

MR. PRALINE: Hello, I wish to register a complaint.

CLERK: Ah yes, complaints are down the hall, third door on the left, just past "Inexplicable Tap-Dancing."

MR. PRALINE: No, no, this is about my Navigator. It doesn't navigate. It doesn't even nav. It's completely unnavigatory.

CLERK: Have you tried turning it off and on again?

MR. PRALINE: I can't turn it on because I can't access the Navigator!

CLERK: Ah! A classic case of pre‑post‑retro‑non‑activation. Very common in the spring.

A man in a suit bursts in, carrying a ukulele.

UKULELE MAN: Have you tried soothing it with music? Works on my houseplants.

MR. PRALINE: No, I have not tried serenading my headset.

UKULELE MAN: Shame. They like Bach.

He exits, playing something vaguely resembling "Smoke on the Water."

CLERK: Let me check your file. (He pulls out a scroll the size of a boa constrictor.) Ah yes. According to this, you've been waiting "many actual months."

MR. PRALINE: Yes! That's the problem!

CLERK: Well, have you considered simply pretending you have the Navigator?

MR. PRALINE: Pretending?

CLERK: Yes, it's very fashionable. All the influencers are doing it. (leans in) Some of them don't even own headsets.

A COLONEL storms in.

COLONEL: Stop that! Stop that! This sketch is becoming far too silly. A man complaining about a missing Navigator is one thing, but imaginary influencers? Ukulele-based troubleshooting? I will not have it!

MR. PRALINE: But Colonel, I still don’t have my Navigator.

COLONEL: Well of course you don't. This is the Ministry of Navigation. We haven't successfully navigated anything since 1973.

CLERK: We did find that missing stapler once.

COLONEL: It was in your pocket!

CLERK: A triumph of modern navigation.

MR. PRALINE: So what am I supposed to do?

CLERK: Fill out Form 27B‑6, "Request for the Possibility of Future Access to a Feature That May or May Not Exist." (He hands over a form the size of a mattress.)

MR. PRALINE: This is absurd!

CLERK: Yes, but it's officially absurd.

The UKULELE MAN re-enters, strumming triumphantly.

UKULELE MAN: Good news! I've written a song about your Navigator!

COLONEL: Right! That's it! This sketch has become entirely too silly. Everyone go home.

ALL EXIT. The ukulele continues playing for several seconds after everyone is gone.