Third metaquest 3 that won't work

Granted, I use my metaquest 3 every day for 2 hours to work out, but I can not believe that I'm having issues..... again.  11 months ago, I had a headset die one month after the warranty expired- just black screen and wouldn't turn on.  So, since after warranty date, bought a new one and a couple of months ago, the video image flipped sideways like I was falling off a cliff, and went black. Never worked again- it would just flash around the outsides occasionally, but didn't work.... so I was sent a refurbished one in early December and I can't believe I'm here again.  This seems fixable so suggestions?

When I go in the headset, the logo spins for a long time and then it does this "update boot" neon green bar and then it goes black and nothing. I forced a restart. Didn't help. I did a factory reset. Didn't help. Does the same thing.... spinning logo.... power up bar..... and bright black. 

I found a suggestion to install a software update. First problem, no matter what I try, the headset won't turn off- not when I hold down button near plug in, not when I press and hold the volume down and power button. nothing.  I did press and hold both volume down and the power button and it turned purple and I did the download and started the install... it didn't look like it finished and it disconnected and didn't restart it and didn't fix it. I've tried to do it again and it just says (midway through the install) 

"Your device has been disconnected from this computer. Power off your Quest device and try again. If your device is unresponsive, please wait a few minutes before trying again."

Either way, nothing I've tried is fixing it. Am I doomed? All of my workouts rely on this headset (this third headset now). What in the world is going on? What do I do?