The point VORPX crossed into the darkside

It had become quite obvious by that pseudonyms posts that "cleverusername" is feeling like he should perhaps be sitting where cyber is, or at the very least beside him, and that perhaps he has some merit to his claims and they may not be so mendacious after all.
The Kid Rock video was me saying to him that crying about the situation is unlikely to help his position in the matter and that the best thing he could probably do for himself at this point is chin up and walk along; that perhaps the decisions made weren't so insidious as he seems to believe, and 'Friendships' were made that ultimately decided who and what moved where down the chain of command.
Sometimes there are connections, and sometimes these connections become the ultimate decisive factor in who goes with us to Disneyland and who stays behind in Albuquerque. Sometimes we sit at home not because we are unloved, but because Friendship has it's faces.

The grass is greener on the farthest side, there are boxes of sand beyond the slide;
They won't be found if he decides to play in this puddle 'til his demise.

In other words.... Get on with it, your time will come IF you are there when it happens and not here where it clealy isn't happening.
Or never give up could be the motto, I really have little to do in the matter but a lot to say apparently.

Of course I could be so far off base with my thinking it isn't funny. In which case my posts are best dismissed as the ramblings of an insane Man and could be better taken with a grain of salt than a pinch of pepper.

"cleverusername" wrote:
http://www.mtbs3d.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=140&t=17636 Everygamer, if your will read here, other people are saying MY idea was the launch of the rift, something erroneously attributed to Palmer (or was it just the creator transmitting through various people as Jadorowsky says - who owns the meme?) He does admit in the virtual insanity panel with abrash and carmack it was MTBS3d forums and eric howlett that was his inspiration, but as you can see, I was the actual individual who hand held him over to that data. (Not long after, Alex Howlett changed the website, killing many of the links, who knows what butterfly effect that could have had, making info go dark, if it hadn't been accessed at the time it was by me, others, and later my palmer himself? interesting - LOL!)

Everygamer, you say TANSTAAFL and it is not GREEDY to want to get something for your time. I spent years and lots of time reading and consuming tons of info, so that when Palmer showed up, he didn't have to replicate all that time and work, he admits in that first thread, he is a total HMD newbie and totally ignorant but willing to learn from the old gurus.

So what do you think, in all fairness, Palmer should offer to me for my time and my idea that was handed to him with a mere question? That has launched all of this? Carmack has said he was working on something similar to Palmer and would have developed it all without Palmer, who knows, who knows what butterfly effect of today would have been different if I hadn't shared with Palmer.

It is not a rhetorical question, how much of whatever kind of asset do you think I should reasonably and fairly expect? Since you are going against what abrash said, franklin said, and even an earlier version of Palmer himself said about open source and the free sharing of information, how much was my time worth and what should I charge for it in whatever asset the community thinks is fair and just? THe winklevoss twins in that facebook movie seemed to think they should get many tens of millions for their "idea" eh? LOL! Palmer decided to cross a threshold on this planet when he felt his TIME was valuable in regards to capitalism, now lets apply that MEME to everyone else in the CHAIN of that meme progression, to me, down to eric howlett, cyberreality possibly too, Neil for hosting the thread, ETC ETC ETC

Um ... start a kickstarter and build a better headset. That is capitalism. You sitting around bitching that someone took your "information" and made something you talked about first is just plain lazy. There is a big difference between talk and discussed ideas and someone writing up a patent and submitting it as an original work. Then there is even a bigger step to actually going through the engineering process, no amount of discussion covers every aspect of a project before it is actually built.

Did you have a patent? Did you build a VR headset which he then took and copied and sold as his own? If it was all talk (and forums are just talk), then you have nothing to stand on. If you have a patent or a physical headset and proof it existed before his then use it take him to court.

So, if you think you can do better, do better and prove him wrong instead of trolling around the forums on his website. If your more than just talk, and you can deliver something better, the market goes where the product is and so wont our $$$. You make a better headset, I will buy it.

Prove it.

As to VorpX, if you dont believe it should cost money, write your own software and give it away for free, his paid product wont be able to compete with a free software. Talk is cheep, take action, youdont like something do something about it ... saying your not happy is not going to likely change his mind so do something productive.

"HappyHimitsu" wrote:
... In other words.... Get on with it, your time will come IF you are there when it happens and not here where it clearly isn't happening. ... better taken with a grain of salt ...

Yes, "crying in your beer" does make it a little salty... But it goes well with country music.

"HappyHimitsu" wrote:
@cleverusername
It must really be tough for you feeling squeezed out like that.

Has the final chapter already been written? You are so ready to close the unfinished book Sebastian! LOL! Oh ye of little faith. What have I been squeezed out of? A job at a company, you can't be serious, LOL! You are still trapped in the capitalist mindset, and a slave in the matrix. As I have said numerous times before, palmer promised an open source HMD, and from abrash to franklin, and I suspect Carmack contributed as well because the thread was called open source HMD. Then palmer says, uh, hang on, we have thousands of people now, instead of 100, (Like I had been telling him would happen for years, but he didn't believe himself when I did), so now I have to change all this open source stuff and charge (yah right). He said I have "time" invested that should generate green pieces of paper for me now. Carmack did tell him to make some money, I did too, I even advised him to make money so he could get top lawyers because you never know when people like a Neil will break an NDA and cause all kinds of drama. It seems to me though, as others have posted, on things like service, or a monthly fee, he could have kept the kit open, the code open, but people being naturally lazy, would still pay Oculus if thier brand was "trusted" That is what he has violated, that is what they had to REALLY seperate them from a sony or MSFT or NVDA device, that people would TRUST Palmer, his reputation, his company (or is it iribes).

As I have also said, he has now simply got himself in front of a runaway freight train, it will not be stopped, and the petty attempts to try to control it will be steamrolled over. Abrash has said it may be another cycle or 2 before we get the good VR, this may not be day 0 after all. Kevin Williams has intimated similar memes. Certainly with the big display manufacturers controlling the hardware, Oculus is at a serious disadvantage, look at the shipping issues they are already having, before we even get into cyberwarfare, corporate espionage, nation state trade wars etc etc and the recent loss of Andrew was another unforseen setback that may not be easily filled.

People like Rob Myers talking about the free software that will totally nullify anything Oculus is doing with their licensing sillyness. This is what has SQUEEZED him out of the fastest best future possible, rather than me being squeezed, I am still going to ride the open source freight train to the future, he is now tied to company drama, politics, financial cyberwarfare, etc etc etc. He had a good shot at the future of remaining relevant (something I predict Neil is finally reaching the end on but he had an awesome run) because people trusted him, his opensource roots, that trust is being eroded, cut by cut by cut. I am not here for me, I am here for him, because I am his friend, whatever has happened or will happen. I think some of the comments I have read here and other places suggest a direction iribe and palmer should go. Stop trying to fight the freight train, open source it all back up, like it was originally, restore TRUST, build the brand, say it is to Honor the memory of Andrew and his open source love, and let your service to the public be where you make your money. People like Gerald saying small guys are not given any attention, while AAA game companies get all the love. Maybe like that 360 poster was saying, a monthly fee, where people who want oculus hardware, software development, and games and other applications get to be part of a community, that transcends a valve or steam or onlive or gaikai emerges. An open source community.

Its all academic however, young Palmer worked for FREE for YEARS because he had passion, in fact he worked for negative, spending his time and money with no promise of return (until carmack showed up) that same passions exists in millions if not tens of millions or more people, who will just do as they please, and not concern themselves with patents, licensing, trademark, etc etc etc and frankly I don't think all the governments, attorneys, or militaries in the world can stop what is coming and already here in many cases. For every Weev they lock down, 10 more hippos pop up.

Palmer could have still been part of that community, but for whatever reason thinks the one he is in the best way for the future. Maybe. Time will tell. I sure don't see him or cyber posting like they used too. I remember Cyber over at MTBS3D would post in every single thread, EVERY ONE, wether he had anything really substantive to add or not, I could only guesstimate he was trying to implicate his identity in some kind of search rakning, who knows? Cyber care to chime in? Its ok, you don't have to be afraid to tell us, we wait with bated breath for you to illuminate us on your reasons for doing that.

You want to know another cut, from my perspective and in my opinion. Geek Master had a fresnel lens thread over at MTBS3D, and a palmer could have went over there, gave him great encouragement as was given to Palmer years earlier, remained humble, built friendships and trust. Instead I saw a palmer kinda trying to say, well I was looking at that, big deal, I have done it myself yada yada yada, that is not a positive force. It is the same darkness Carmack visited down on Palmer himself, well I was working on my own HMD, if Palmer hadn't shown up, I would have "eventually" done it myself! LOL! Perhaps Carmack, perhaps ;)

If you think it is money I want, it would be to my best advantage to help them make as much as possible, then help some poor unemployed lawyers use thier slavery in the capitalist system to start earning some dollars eh? By Cybers side? I never left it, huh? Like Gurney Hallick tells Paul Atreides in Dune. I hope the omnity bourke stuff that I came here to post about helps them and others, and kudos to Geek Master and others for taking the reigns on that issue.

I will always remain beside all the open source souls on this planet, even when they go closed, trying to turn them back. Are you trying to project what you think YOU would have wanted, a job at OCULUS? LOL! Oh please, you think I roll with folks like dan loeb or warren mosler and would be content with a mere job? I am not trapped by the forces of capitalism, money, etc etc perhaps that enslave you. I am sorry, I will try to remain humble and your servant.

This is more about people like Andrew that just died, from dust we emerge, back to dust we go, and our time on this planet is so short and fleeting, we should have fun, escape boredom, in the end we are all dead, what secrets died with Andrew, what was bouncing around in his head we all are not privvy too now because it went down with him and his death and was not open sourced and wide open for all the rest of us? How much of his genius and creativity will have to be recreated now in other minds?

Palmer has positioned himself at odds with the same forces that got him started, forces that I think will knock him down, forces that will build things faster, better, stronger, and he can either come back to the open source jedi or not, his choice. In the future that is coming or mostly already here, community 3d printers, digital copies of all info, millions if not hundreds of millions of people joining the bandwagon to innovate, test, rebuild, etc etc etc to try and stop that, control it, restrain it, just seems damn silly to me. Look at the people here, 10K+ and growing. For you lazy folks saying build more stuff myself, whew, haven't I already done enough, I am getting old and tired.

No worries, the natural ambition, passion, attempts to beat boredom, will spur enough open source jedi force to bring about all the wonder that is needed. Palmer I will continue to pray for your soul, and hope one day you come back to the light. If you will be remembered for anything, it will be the shenanigans at kickstarter, and taking one of the greatest open source project opportunities into the dark world of capitalism, I hope weev is gentle on you when he gets out :shock:

Weev and goatse is almost totally forgotten.

http://www.oculusrift.com/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=1958 A thread, by oculus supporters, who are too lazy or mentally deficient to even click a link to find out about Reisse, seems people are really ignorant over there, human beings are forgetful apes perhaps, many never rising above the next 15 minutes? Who knows? LOL!

@cleverusername

Gosh but you're a loquacious one.

It's cool that you have your own perspective and all, being anti-capitalist and thinking well outside of our common social mores. I think it's great that people often give back to the community without expectation. You think people are obliged to, and are living incorrectly when they do not. Frankly, it's a judgmental, smug attitude and is a bit obnoxious.

With regards to your contributions to the oculus rift, it seems to me that if you believe in freely sharing resources then you have no problem at all with Palmer taking your contributions and doing anything he likes with them. There is little reason to tell this story. The error in your thinking is regarding that others should follow your antimaterialist way of thinking.

Finally:

I will try to remain humble and your servant.

You might want to work at that a little harder. You are practically brimming with such maniacal self-satisfation that extracting actual information from your posts is much more difficult than it needs to be.


Finally, I don't want to just go on about you, so to address the original topic: I think that if the vorpx creator is able to make a living by developing his product, he is likely to build a superior product because of it. I want to have great gaming experiences, so that's all I care about here. As long as he isn't doing crazydumb things that impede immersion for the sake of his business (vorpx needs constant online connection, vorpx offers microtransactions, vorpx requires a monthly subscription.... I'm glad vorpx isn't being made by Activision), I'm all for it.

"cleverusername" wrote:

http://www.oculusrift.com/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=1958 A thread, by oculus supporters, who are too lazy or mentally deficient to even click a link to find out about Reisse, seems people are really ignorant over there, human beings are forgetful apes perhaps, many never rising above the next 15 minutes? Who knows? LOL!

They were too lazy or mentally deficient to click a link? A link that was edited into the first post 22 hours after they asked who a person identified only as "Andrew" was?

You know 'clever' I agree with you. In the ideal world (our future?) all things will be open sourced and nothing will be hidden. Unfortunately we are not there [quite] yet, but I do believe we are moving in that direction and I applaud your willingness to push towards such a noble realization. As well do I acknowledge the necessity to push back the oppression and carve ourselves a foundation before sovereignty of any form is out of ours and into theirs.

Where we collide is in the difficulty that I have in believing that you are purely magnanimous in your intent.
I never said I thought you were in it for the money, and I never expected it to be that way either.
You do however sound like somebody who is severely pissed at not getting their cookie where there cookie is deserved.
It's beyond me to think you just want recognition for what you feel you have helped to accomplish; and the fact that you're not getting where others are is pissing you off and you deal with that by letting us all know it. I'd be pissed too.

You can't blame me for disbelieving you. You're posts have been less in alignment with championing the Open Source Movement and more about calling out Palmer and Co. for not giving you a prop where you feel it's deserved.

NPD often goes hand in hand with depersonalization; Perhaps we share in something after all...


As for the Job at Oculus, you got me. I have a family to feed and a nest to nerd on, and I would surmise that so our friend from vorpX does as well.


Give me a clear and concise statement of what it is you desire, then put your feet in that direction and I will wholeheartedly believe your conviction. Not that it would matter much, you are my humble servant after all...

"geekmaster" wrote:

"HappyHimitsu" wrote:
... Sometimes it is more about friendship then infallibility.

I have been "stabbed in the back" more than once myself, by the very people whom I made filthy rich. Promises made but not kept. Kept out of the loop because I "knew too much". Friends at work saying "I'm sorry, but they are making me do this, or I will lose my job". Typical human frailties. It seems that wealth and power can corrupt the minds and desires of more than a few people, even close friends...

Perhaps the "bosses" felt a need to destroy the evidence, or at least push me out of sight and out of mind, after stealing all the credit, and most of the profit. Some clearly felt threatened by how I could see "the big picture" better than they could. Some were just "not nice people". The worst offenders were often the first promoted. Although my distrust in financial institutions and financial instruments, and my open and honest generosity, may have given them the idea that I was vulnerable to their predation. They may have been correct in that belief. Sharing does make one vulnerable to some degree...

We are not alone, but that does not ease the pain. It helps to look forward and not dwell on the past. To create again. Renaissance... I will now go back to the future, where I can create vitality and joy. The past is gone for good. Only those in power can rewrite the history books.

But still, we cannot live on words and ideas alone. We need food and clothing and shelter (and toys). None of these things are free. Freedom itself is not free (paid for with ink and blood, sweat and tears)...

As Jadorowsky said, the creator delivers to you a gift, and others will take it and make it thier own, that is the way, because it was never yours to begin with really eh? Even to the point where you must be totally rubbed out perhaps, as jadorwosky wanted to do with Herbert (and as the beatles manager wanted to do back to Jadorowsky and seems to have done being able to censor his art for decades). Or as Q showed us the Borg in star trek. You are but a cog in the great hive, and what you can do for the hive, is your only real utility, stop trying to be more than that. If we are all just anonymous entities on the hive mind of the net, with no ego, identity, what is pain in that reality? What is the love?




That you wish to "OWN" the meme, attach it to your ego, perhaps that is the real problem, it is not the external world, but the world within, inside you, that needs fixing. They want "credit" or "money" and if they can get you to start believing you need those things too, has Satan won? Today you woke up Geek Master, Reisse, who certainly had more money and credit then you did, did not wake up, who is the more blessed person at this point in time? I think you should wake up and be ecstatic that you still have your life, more time to have fun and not be bored in this reality, that has been taken from Reisse. Maybe valuing LIFE itself though, is a path to the darkside, and the bible does say tomorrow is not promised. I know a lot of the tyranny of the state that frightens me is people trying to extract more rent from the state, to extend thier lives. Ayn Rand took social security to extend her life, but bobby fischer when given the opportunity to go on dialysis I think chose to just die. You know Geek Master, over at MTBS3D you posted a link to alan watts, on us being able to push a button, and be surprised, otherwise we would be so bored. Perhaps the creator got bored, and he created us, and our limited life span, so that he could be surprised, with new entities to constantly entertain. I imagine alan watts was right in many ways, boredom and escaping it is the impetus for a lot of things I do now.

What you experienced is so common for so many people Geek Master. Often daily on the call ins at Cspan I hear people saying "I can't get a job, I am overqualified, I have a Phd and they only want someone with a highschool diploma, etc etc"
When I was at pax 09 (for neil, spending my own money to help him, and more importantly flying on an airplane, which was great personal trauma for me because I had developed a massive fear of it) I saw so many people, brilliant young people, fresh from college, with masters and Phd's, literally at the point of nervous breakdown because they could not find work. I remember one panel with a MSFT executive, some girl almost breaking down into total tears because she said I have a masters, and no one will hire me, and I have so much student debt. I remember her pain and her story, and have forgotten so many other events that happened that day? Why?

I am trying to learn from you Geek Master, you say the "worst offenders" were the first promoted, people lived in FEAR, were AFRAID, like roy batty telling deckard what a terrible thing it is to live in fear, to be a slave. What kind of system promotes those that are most fearful or afraid? Willing to hurt and harm you, maybe hoping you are fired, removed, never hired, never promoted, maybe even hope that you will DIE, so they can continue on and you are not a threat?

Is that the system of a loving creator? Mosler says Obama is practically the anti-christ. He posted links to the blackagendareport where glen ford often takes Obama to the grindstone http://www.blackagendareport.com/ He doesn't understand how a president following in JFK's footsteps is so Anti People, causing such massive problems in the economy.

That the best thing a government can do is make them feel to have some use, to be the employer of last resort, that a fiat economy and capitalistic democratic system can do better, the same thing Norbert Wiener worried about. Forces that are directly affecting you and causing you pain and stress as you admit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeSgJQO7JbY&list=PL1FBD737DDE30A98E Jim Carrey again on Mother Gaia and spiritual existence and the release of his pain....

"HappyHimitsu" wrote:
Where we collide is in the difficulty that I have in believing that you are purely magnanimous in your intent.
I never said I thought you were in it for the money, and I never expected it to be that way either.
You do however sound like somebody who is severely pissed at not getting their cookie where there cookie is deserved.

Again what is the cookie you think it is I am looking for? You say this:
Sometimes it is more about friendship then infallibility. I will learn from you, and this statement of yours. As I have already expressed to both palmer and cyber, for years this has eaten at my soul. When I vanished, why did they think that happened? What did Neil tell them? Did they even care enough to ask? Was Palmer a nice person to even concern himself with the very person that brought him to howlett, hey where is he, I am going to shoot him a personal email and check in on my friend.

Why did they not use thier powers as moderator to look up my email and say hey bro, what happened to you? Why aren't you posting anymore, is everything OK? I needed a friend, but none came, my dad had just died. They don't talk to me now and answer the questions I ask, why? What is this dark nebulous force over them they can't answer my question about friendship? How they were feeling? That is not the cyber or palmer I remember. I am here trying to talk to old friends, I thought, but only new friends here will engage and talk to me, why do you think that is? I did a lot for Neil, I thought he was my friend, I tried to be his, but then I began to see he had a lot of darkness inside him, he told me to stop phugging with peons at PAX, only to deal with CEO's and VP's, is that a nice person? Yuri over at MTBS3D I thought was neil's friend, was doing a lot I thought to help him, but in first meeting me Neil couldn't help himself but to cut and criticize Yuri to me personally, while his wife knew what Evil Neil had done in that moment (and you bring up good issues about Palmers mate in another thread maybe being his only stabilizing force), metalqueen telling him how wrong that was. I couldn't help but think, gosh, is this how Neil really feels about all his "friends" behind thier backs? To insult, degrade, and demean them? People that look up to him and are trying to help him. That was my opinion and my perspective.

You say I want recognition, r u nutz? My whole life has been about being like zorro or the lone ranger, as geek master says he has done, incognito, multiple identities all over the place, is that a "recognition seeking entity" to you? This was a HUGE problem I had with Neil at one point, in more of his shady politics and silly games he announced my identity to some conference panel in an attempt to shame/goad me into letting him keep my 3D camera he stole (it was on loan, but he was trying to do evil things to keep it permanently - but then Jadorowsky does say you own nothing, and people will take everything they can from you and try to make it thiers - LOL!) In that light, it was never mine to begin with eh?

I guess the root PAIN that keeps welling up is exactly what you state, I thought I had some "friends" not sith lords who pretended to be friends, who perhaps have been compromised by satan, the capitalist system, etc etc Who seem to feel it is best to ignore this old friend, and hope he goes away. Who won't respond to emails, or enage him anymore. The guy that led one of them to much of the success they have today perhaps? Or maybe not. Perhaps that is my failing though, as you say, more about friendship than infallability, perhaps the problem is directly inside me, expecting FRIENDS in an indsutry or world that is designed to kill friendships. A world where an opensource kid, at some point, made the switcheroo to closed. Have I become the attention whore I often criticize many of my old girlfriends about? I will think heavily on what you say happy, perhaps in the greater sense of good for the community, I should go away, and not expect friends I thought I had to be there for me, do you think that is the optimal solution to my coming here? In a way I really failed Palmer, I made a promise to him to send him some things, some money, and then I vanished, and I have simply asked him and Cyber if they can share with me why they think that happened, what was told to them if they asked Neil why that happened, and if he didn't tell them anything, why they didn't use thier powers to get my email and try to reach out to a "friend" hey bro - where are you - why have you went dark - whats up - is everything ok? I didn't get that, do you think that is how "friends" treat friends? LOL! Why won't they answer me now, they are nice people right? Friends to us all right?

Its not that I care where others are, again you betray yourself, showing you are hurting in ways like Geek Master admits, ways the capitalist matrix would enslave and control you and make you think and feel, not ways I think I feel. I came here to post for 2 reasons, first I had something to say about Omnity that I hoped would help all, and to constantly stress the path we are going down, where this all was originally an open source project that went closed, is not good. Abrash has said the same thing, Ben Franklin as well, Stallman and Weev too. Do you go and follow them around as much as you do me and tell them the same things you tell me when they profess memes relating to an open source future and how maybe you don't believe that is the real intent in thier heart, they are REALLY after some other cookie? What was it you said about letting go? I watched this movie life of PI recently, that was his big message, life is about letting go, Geek Master perhaps should let go of his wants and needs and pains, me of mine relating to an open source future, and you of yours following me around perhaps? :)

I hope you WOULDN'T be pissed if someone else gets your idea, that you erroneously think is YOURS, but is really a gift from the creator, and I will keep referencing Jadorowsky over again and again, and maybe you didn't read the link where I reference him, so here it is AGAIN http://www.oculusrift.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1904

I am terribly dissapointed Palmer decided to stop sharing information, as abrash and franklin said is GOOD, as a younger palmer himself said was GOOD. AS I have said before and elsewhere, someone showed up on palmers site, while Carmack was bragging about a 250hz tracker, this guy from europe (germany I believe) had a 600hz tracker, and said he maybe could even get it up to 1000hz, he left his contact info for all of us to share, I went back a few days later to contact him and get that info, and Palmer had erased it, he no longer was about "sharing" and that is where I think he crossed into the dark side.


I don't blame you for not believing me, you already show like Geek Master, perhaps, that you are plugged into the capitalist matrix, and the memes that propogates, about recognition, money, control, censorship, not sharing information, where bright minds like Geek Master are actually attacked and destroyed because other minds are afraid and living in fear and true slaves.

You can't blame me for disbelieving you. You're posts have been less in alignment with championing the Open Source Movement and more about calling out Palmer and Co. for not giving you a prop where you feel it's deserved.


I attach whatever I can of myself, ideas, drama to Palmer's fame and celebrity, so that people will listen to what I have to say about open source, and others too, and hopefully make the choice that I think will benefit us all. I don't personally want or need thier prop, but when they stop sharing information with the rest of us, and you and I or geek master or anyone stops sharing information as well because we "think" we were burned, well certainly you see the larger picture.
Lets continue this on Tron and The Dude Lebowski:

Which lebowski are you?




http://www.jeffbridges.com/because.html

Jeff Bridges on Capitalist or Open source, and perhaps why we need to reset the system, choose your own adventure.



As much as I wish to remain your humble servant, I am spending too much time, I can't help but think any more time I spend here, won't cover new territory, it is time perhaps to do like Alan Watts, it seems many people want me to go, even old friends like palmer and cyber, they won't be a friend and talk to me anymore, so I will give them thier wish, because I am the humble servant and do as they please.

If you are looking for a friend, then stop going on here about it and shoot me a PM.
My Mother died not long ago, and I can relate to the pain you must have felt with your Father's passing.
She had her legs cut off before she went, so that just made things worse.

The internet can be a difficult place to make real friendships, because often we attribute meaningful connections where there are none and this bears the risk that we will be let down if (when?) we discover that people were not really there to begin with.

I tried to PM you but cannot. Message me.